wildscape. literary journal

This Death Is Not A Surrender
by C. Show

For Elisa Rae Shupe

FIRST (FOREMOST)

Their policies are clear:  They want to kill me, 
so why should I do them the favor of dying?

NEXT (AFTER)

I’ve spun the comfort of suicide 
like the stem of a clover 
through my fingers 
since I was 9— 

the words fleshing the skin from my hands 
until blood drips from my cuticles. 

FURTHER (DEEPER)

I’ve sown sorrow with the seeds 
dug from the roof of my mouth, 
stripped like a spoon to the center 
of a green bell pepper. 

NOW (FOREVER)

I gag, but I’ve learned not to swallow.

about the author // C. Show