wildscape. literary journal

Greenhead Horseflies Chase Me
by Désirée Penner

deeper into the olive-black smirk,
where Excited and Clever 
Deerflies shriek— squabbling 
in swirls. Raindrops freckle
the river’s face. A thousand 
mirrored moods  
live here— but I do not 
have time to search 
for serenity. My insecurities are leaving
large welts along fleshy shoulders 
and arms that ripple. I drop
underwater. I am heavy-bodied, 
a Canvasback diving duck. 
 
             The sluggish belly
             of the lake feels cool, 
             and yet, my lungs 
             are fiery. Silt
             surprises my eyes 
             and I know, I cannot stay
             drowning. I find a surprise,
             a confident scatter—
             golden glints from Northern 
             Redbelly Dace 
             Minnows who niggle 
             my kneecaps, tut-tutting 
             a love that tangles 
             my tongue.

             Which is to say, 
             I wish I could stay,
 
             but the surface is screaming.

about the author // Désirée Penner