wildscape. literary journal

Title: In My Head // Artist: Paul Hedges

Note: This piece was previously published in Buzz Zine vol. 3 in May of 2024.

about the piece

I started with a poster board as my base, then glued cutouts of all the gun legislation that the State of Michigan doesn’t have (pulled from Everytown) as the first layer. The second layer was tabs to the song Hammerhead by the Offspring; specifically Verse Three after the bridge. The black text is excerpts of the same verse, overlaid with the raucous cheering “WOO HOO!” in red that persists as a juxtaposition to the horrific lyrics. Finally, excerpts from the Wikipedia article about the February 13th, 2023 Michigan State University shooting are strewn across the page, the number increasing as we reach the bottom of the piece where it culminates with the number of deaths and a single word handwritten in red: Repeat. I find that Hammerhead, like a lot of metal and heavy rock, is a mirror for how I feel after such horrific events. I interpret the song to be about a traumatized veteran going through a psychotic break of some kind; reliving combat in a foreign war – quite likely in Iraq or Afghanistan. This person returns to the United States and is provided no help, no treatment, and no aid. This person cracks at the bridge of the song, where they gun down children at a school while believing themselves in a war zone with only god to help them. It touches on the “uniquely American problem” of the commonality of school shootings. I struggle to play this song on my guitar; only when the amp is loud enough can I make my way through the final chords while some part of me relives the fear of that shooting.

about the artist // Paul Hedges